It's been a few days since I last had a chance to slow down and write a post. I don't want to let that become a habit so here I sit with only a few moments to try to catch myself up.
I had my first insurance required weight loss class at my surgeon's office on Monday. I learned a lot of things and do not necessarily think that these classes are a waste of time. I do have to say though that the 3 hour drive there and then 3 hours back is not my favorite thing. Thankfully the classes are on a Monday morning and I can head down to the Front Range on Sunday and then some back after the classes. I get to spend atleast a little bit of time with my mom since I crash at her place FOR FREEEEEEEEE.
In the last week I have interviewed for a different job that came out of the blue and accepted the job offer. Although it does not pay as much as I currently make and requires an hour commute for me, I think that it is a positive change.
Now I am working frantically to get things to a good spot for my current boss for my last day this Friday. I have a ton of class work to do and due dates that are in the middle of the week but I am sure I will be able to handle it all.
I hope to be able to get some pictures loaded eventually and some more layout work done but for now I am just going to do my best to check in regularly.
The smoking thing has been a bear and I need to tighten that back down. I gained several pounds in the first week not smoking and thankfully was able to knock them off before I had my class. We have to lose atleast a little weight so I am keeping a close eye on everything. I am walking a little every week but with a bum ankle that is certainly proving to be a pain in the *ha ha* foot..... tee hee hee
Wednesday, March 21, 2012
Thursday, March 15, 2012
A Long Long Time Ago
Well not sooooooo long ago really more like 19 or so years ago.... I was what they would call skinny fat. I was small in size with pretty much no muscle definition and I was certainly not fit. But boy was I thin and rocking the size 5s.
Since then, I have had the joys of babies, fast food, pizza, Pepsi addiction, nicotine addiction, serious depression, no self confidence and becoming a professional at the yo-yo diet. There is no one to blame for the shape I am in today except for myself and my own lack of self confidence and self image.
Lord knows I am a professional dieter. I have done most of them out there and some that are not as easy to get into like Optifast.... I can lose weight and I have done it many times over the past 2 decades. I can not seem to maintain it and push that loss all the way to a healthy weight though. Then when I gain it back I usually manage to find a couple of extra pounds in the process. YAY! Who doesn't love friends?
I finally hit the wall after gaining back everything that I lost while on Optifast in a mere 6 months once I was back to eating real food. Talk about a brutal and vicious diet! Nothing but liquids for 20 weeks! I was always hungry and honestly I think my brain quit during that process.
February 29th I met with Dr. Thomas Brown and his team at Colorado Bariatrics. I chose this team for a couple of reasons: my insurance company is ok with them, they have the "surgeon supervised" weight loss plan that my insurance requires, it is interdisciplinary, it is in Pres St Luke's Hospital and I have a special place in my heart for that hospital after they saved me and my son almost 14 years ago.
I have to do a 6 month "surgeon supervised" weight loss plan. Hoorah.... Not really but I understand why the insurance company requires this. I am actually going to take this a little farther just to make sure there is nothing that the insurance company can do to deny me on this point. I will drive the 3 hours one way to Denver and back home once a month to go to the classes in the Surgeon's office. I am going to see a local doc here and get him to get me started on a 6 month medically supervised plan with him. I will see him once a month to weight and check in and then I will see the nutritionist for the local hospital once or twice a month. I hope to take that time and have her get me ready for the preop and postop diets and changes. I am going to start going to the bariatric support group at the nutritionists office now as well so that I have everything firm in my life when the time comes.
I think at this point one of the hardest parts has been quitting smoking.... I went to DC Stop Smoking Center in Grand Junction and got the ear shocking therapy again. Last time I did this, it didn't seem to be such a hard thing but I think because I was on Optifast at the time and only taking in liquids I was distracted from the nicotine withdrawal..... I have not slept well in a week. I wake several times a night and when I wake I am alert. Here's hoping I finally get some real sleep soon. I have to be smoke free for 6 months and have to take urine tests in May and August. So needless to say, I have to stick with this regardless of how hard it is. I just wish the kids and hubs would realize not to push my buttons right now.... I am trying not to gain weight since I am not allowed to between now and surgery. If I could walk off some of the tension that would be awesome but unfortunately I am hobbled right now due to a sprained ankle..... that story is pretty funny but I will save it for later..... If we can't laugh at ourselves who can we laugh at?????
Since then, I have had the joys of babies, fast food, pizza, Pepsi addiction, nicotine addiction, serious depression, no self confidence and becoming a professional at the yo-yo diet. There is no one to blame for the shape I am in today except for myself and my own lack of self confidence and self image.
Lord knows I am a professional dieter. I have done most of them out there and some that are not as easy to get into like Optifast.... I can lose weight and I have done it many times over the past 2 decades. I can not seem to maintain it and push that loss all the way to a healthy weight though. Then when I gain it back I usually manage to find a couple of extra pounds in the process. YAY! Who doesn't love friends?
I finally hit the wall after gaining back everything that I lost while on Optifast in a mere 6 months once I was back to eating real food. Talk about a brutal and vicious diet! Nothing but liquids for 20 weeks! I was always hungry and honestly I think my brain quit during that process.
February 29th I met with Dr. Thomas Brown and his team at Colorado Bariatrics. I chose this team for a couple of reasons: my insurance company is ok with them, they have the "surgeon supervised" weight loss plan that my insurance requires, it is interdisciplinary, it is in Pres St Luke's Hospital and I have a special place in my heart for that hospital after they saved me and my son almost 14 years ago.
I have to do a 6 month "surgeon supervised" weight loss plan. Hoorah.... Not really but I understand why the insurance company requires this. I am actually going to take this a little farther just to make sure there is nothing that the insurance company can do to deny me on this point. I will drive the 3 hours one way to Denver and back home once a month to go to the classes in the Surgeon's office. I am going to see a local doc here and get him to get me started on a 6 month medically supervised plan with him. I will see him once a month to weight and check in and then I will see the nutritionist for the local hospital once or twice a month. I hope to take that time and have her get me ready for the preop and postop diets and changes. I am going to start going to the bariatric support group at the nutritionists office now as well so that I have everything firm in my life when the time comes.
I think at this point one of the hardest parts has been quitting smoking.... I went to DC Stop Smoking Center in Grand Junction and got the ear shocking therapy again. Last time I did this, it didn't seem to be such a hard thing but I think because I was on Optifast at the time and only taking in liquids I was distracted from the nicotine withdrawal..... I have not slept well in a week. I wake several times a night and when I wake I am alert. Here's hoping I finally get some real sleep soon. I have to be smoke free for 6 months and have to take urine tests in May and August. So needless to say, I have to stick with this regardless of how hard it is. I just wish the kids and hubs would realize not to push my buttons right now.... I am trying not to gain weight since I am not allowed to between now and surgery. If I could walk off some of the tension that would be awesome but unfortunately I am hobbled right now due to a sprained ankle..... that story is pretty funny but I will save it for later..... If we can't laugh at ourselves who can we laugh at?????
Wednesday, March 14, 2012
Here I Go.....
While this is certainly a blog about my journey to lap band..... Since my decision to get the band, I have realized this is also a journey to finding me.... Here I plan to be completely honest with myself and anyone else who happens to stop by about pretty much everything in my life....
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